I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize