She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize