Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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