i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
