was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
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