Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
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