Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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