Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Randomize
