Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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