??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
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Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
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I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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