I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
