Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
