shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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