I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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