So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
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