He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
BRING THE BAGELS
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize