I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
