she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
They took my balls.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
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