Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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