It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
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you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
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I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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