Where did you get a picture of my penis
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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