I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize