So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
