I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize