And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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