return my video game
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
