It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Randomize
