Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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