Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
We need to get me chipped asap
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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