By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
