You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize