I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
