he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
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