school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
