i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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