take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Michael Bay diarrhea
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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