it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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