the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize