you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
