He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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