I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
