I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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