I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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