GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize