you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
