best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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