How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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