I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize