Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
