I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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