Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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