So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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