i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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