He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
