How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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