I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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