is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize