I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?