I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.