I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list